


Fifty Sentences

by Mackem



Category: Flight of the Conchords (TV)
Genre: Challenge Response, Fluff, M/M, One Sentence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 02:56:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mackem/pseuds/Mackem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I decided to try a writing exercise in the Flight of the Conchords fandom, so I took the fifty prompts of "theme set Alpha" from <a href="http://1sentence.livejournal.com/">1 Sentence</a> and applied them to Bret, Jemaine and the gang. This is absolute fluff from top to bottom.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Fifty Sentences

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to try a writing exercise in the Flight of the Conchords fandom, so I took the fifty prompts of "theme set Alpha" from [1 Sentence](http://1sentence.livejournal.com/) and applied them to Bret, Jemaine and the gang. This is absolute fluff from top to bottom.

#01 – **Comfort**  
There's nothing quite so comforting as Bret's super-soft stripy jumper, whether freshly washed (for Bret) or just removed (for Jemaine).  
  
#02 – **Kiss**  
According to Jemaine, a kiss could not be gay if it could be attributed to: drunkenness, practice, an accident, mistaken identity and once, "a need to warm my lips up".  
  
#03 – **Soft**  
Although he can rock with the best of them, Jemaine likes Bret's voice best when he sings to himself under his breath, all soft and secret.  
  
#04 – **Pain**  
Jemaine is a manly man, of course, but _anybody_ fixed with those kicked-puppy eyes and wobbling lower lip would melt, so he soon finds himself kissing away the pain in Bret's cut finger.  
  
#05 – **Potatoes**  
Jemaine is no chef, and is more likely to pick up a guitar than a saucepan when hungry; when Bret overhears him crooning an ode to mashed potatoes he sighs and turns on the hob.  
  
#06 – **Rain**  
Rain makes Jemaine even more morose than usual, but seeing a drenched Bret dancing through puddles to make him smile is worth getting a little damp.  
  
#07 – **Chocolate**  
He knows friends tell you when you've got food on your face, so surely _best_ friends can go one further and lick away the smudge of chocolate left on Jemaine's upper lip.  
  
#08 – **Happiness**  
He knows happiness is not really conducive to song-writing, not general, everyday happiness, but they won't complain about it now that it's come their way.  
  
#09 – **Telephone**  
Technically Bret _is_ right; nobody else has a camera-phone like his, but unique or otherwise, he's not sure that's a good thing.  
  
#10 – **Ears**  
They spent the day Mel managed to get into their building tip-toeing around the apartment in their socks, lest the ear pressed to their door caught any sign they were inside.  
  
#11 – **Name**  
Jemaine doesn't understand how everyone seems to have trouble with Bret's name; it's been burnt into his mind from the first time he heard it.  
  
#12 – **Sensual**  
He's only playing his bass, his calloused fingers only sliding and stroking and plucking; it shouldn't look so flippin' sensual.  
  
#13 – **Death**  
Bret _knows_ Gandalf isn't really dead, yet he cries every time; Jemaine _knows_ he should chastise Bret but instead he holds him, like Boromir held Frodo.  
  
#14 – **Sex**  
Although it was degrading, and did his best to rescue him, Bret couldn't help but wonder whether Jemaine had picked up any new moves during his time as a prostitute.  
  
#15 – **Touch**  
He hasn't said anything about it because he thinks the nightly soft touch of lips against his cheek is from Bret; that changes when he finally plucks up the courage to open his eyes and finds Eugene leaning close.  
  
#16 – **Weakness**  
He tells himself his weaknesses are animals and girls, and ignores the fact that Jemaine is the only person he's ever been willing to share his biscuits with.  
  
#17 – **Tears**  
The watery-yet-delighted smile he teases out from the tears is worth the time he's had to spend making various kitchen appliances "talk".  
  
#18 – **Speed**  
When they first arrive the speed of life in the New York streets makes their heads spin, so when Murray suggests they hold hands while walking neither produces more than token protests.  
  
#19 – **Wind**  
Bret, easily influenced by fantasy films, wants to know if it could ever be so windy as to blow their apartment to another world; Jemaine thinks it over before deciding yes, but the funky red shoes would be all his, and Bret would have to be the cute little dog.  
  
#20 – **Freedom**  
He almost struts into the cool air, giving the street as steely a look as he can manage; finally, after two days' hard time in the slammer, he has his freedom back.  
  
#21 – **Life**  
Murray later describes the I'm-back-with-Shelly party they threw as the best night of his entire life, and is annoyed when he _still_ has to describe the event to a puzzled Bret and Jemaine.  
  
#22 – **Jealousy**  
Jemaine is sometimes astonished by the things he can find himself jealous of; how could he really begrudge the stray pup a little petting from Bret, after all?   
  
#23 – **Hands**  
Her shoulders still occasionally tingle when she thinks about Jemaine's erotic massage, although in her head they had both been naked and his hands had been busy elsewhere.  
  
#24 – **Taste**  
He wonders if the cup will somehow taste like Jemaine if he neglects to wash it out properly.  
  
#25 – **Devotion**  
Murray thinks Jemaine is usually a bad influence on Bret, but wishes the younger man would learn from his devotion; _Jemaine_ has never quit the band.  
  
#26 – **Forever**  
During bongo solos which seem to last forever, Jemaine raises his eyes to the ceiling and wishes Bret had been the one in the headlock.  
  
#27 – **Blood**  
The Stapler Incident revealed three things; Bret should not be allowed to fiddle with stationery, Jemaine did not react well to blood, and Murray did not appreciate the waste of New Zealand's staples.  
  
#28 – **Sickness**  
Jemaine was better at fending off sickness but still ended up catching every bug Bret brought home, due to his weakness for dark, pleading eyes and a shaky, fevered whisper of, "C'n I sleep in your bed tonight?"   
  
#29 – **Melody**  
Bret knows a melody is nothing without a bassline to keep it grounded, and feels this applies to other areas of his life very well.  
  
#30 – **Star**  
Jemaine sometimes questions whether it's possible to be a rock star in a jumper sporting a zebra's head, but Bret is pretty confident that wild animals will lead to wild times.  
  
#31 – **Home**  
At first 'home' was distant, something to miss back in New Zealand, but eventually the apartment became 'home' before finally, 'home' was in his embrace.  
  
#32 – **Confusion**  
He tried not to think about it, but every time the song popped back into his mind he sank into confusion – for a start, where had Jemaine even got a wig from?  
  
#33 – **Fear**  
"There now, that's nice, isn’t it?" Murray asks as Mel holds up her carefully-sewn costumes, completely misreading the looks of fear in both men's eyes.  
  
#34 - **Lightning/Thunder**  
He thinks people would believe it happens the other way around, but thunder and lightning always see Jemaine shivering into Bret's protective embrace, not vice versa.  
  
#35 – **Bonds**  
The Australians had shown Bret the possibilities of duct tape; Jemaine makes sure the silver bonds at his wrists are secure, and relishes the sight of his struggles.  
  
#36 – **Market**  
Mel dreams she sees them at a slave market in ancient Rome and sells the tunic off her back to buy them; dream-Bret and dream-Jemaine are suitably delighted, but the real Conchords nervously assure her they have a band meeting when she offers to illustrate her tale.  
  
#37 – **Technology**  
Neither of them were good with technology, which just made Mel's photoshopped creations all the more disturbing.  
  
#38 – **Gift**  
He would never admit it but although Bret's birthday song was good, Jemaine's favourite part of the present came when his friend sat in his cardboard box to sing it; Bret needed only a ribbon to be his perfect gift.  
  
#39 – **Smile**  
Bret has found himself memorising every different smile Jemaine produces, as they seem to be so rare; his favourite was the giggly beam that broke across his face when Bret took it upon himself to discover precisely _how_ ticklish Jemaine is.  
  
#40 – **Innocence**  
He knows his friend is a dreamer, and finds this infuriating beyond belief when he drifts unthinkingly into trouble, but Jemaine also knows he would do anything to protect Bret's innocence.  
  
#41 – **Completion**  
Ever since they'd met they'd felt a strange-yet-comfortable sense of completion; not that either of them could express that, because that might be a bit gay.  
  
#42 – **Clouds**  
Bret was a person who could stare at clouds and see shifting shapes, while Jemaine was a person who could stare at clouds and see only _clouds_ ; still, so long as Bret did his cloud-watching with his head on Jemaine's chest, he would pretend to see galleons and horses in the sky all day.  
  
#43 – **Sky**  
They'd thought Murray had been joking, but as they stood in the basket rising into the sky with a couple on a romantic hot-air balloon ride, they realised they'd fallen prey to yet another of his "sold-out gig" tricks.  
  
#44 – **Heaven**  
It was just a normal day spent together, practicing and walking in the park and eating dinner without interruptions from Murray, Mel or Dave; it was just a normal day and it shouldn't have been heaven, but it was.  
  
#45 – **Hell**  
He's lost his key, he can't get into the apartment, Jemaine is out somewhere, he has nowhere to go, and Mel has promised him with a hand squeezing his arm possessively that she'll keep him company until Jemaine gets home; Bret is in hell.  
  
#46 – **Sun**  
He waits for summer to come, because he knows that when the sun is at its strongest Bret will abandon his jumpers and show off his arms in t-shirts; if it _does_ look a little cheap, it only adds to his appeal.   
  
#47 – **Moon**  
He hates not being able to sleep, but when he rolls over and sees a peacefully-slumbering Jemaine bathed in pale moonlight, he feels his exhaustion melt away.  
  
#48 – **Waves**  
It was embarrassing to start Mexican waves at a gig with an audience of just three but he carried on regardless, knowing that joining in would make Bret's shirt ride up.  
  
#49 – **Hair**  
He always acts as casually as possible when he asks, because if he gave away how much he enjoyed Bret cutting his hair, he'd end up facing a salon.  
  
#50 – **Supernova**  
The loss of Planet Jemaine to supernova was vaguely saddening, until he was assured he'd always have a place on Planet Bret.


End file.
